joi, 5 februarie 2015

Valentine's Day - ce trebuie schimbat (How to Celebrate It Daily and What Needs to Change)

In perioada asta, nu mai pot nici sa deschid o pagina de Internet fara sa ma bombardeze de peste tot anunturi legate de Valentine's Day! "Cumpara chilotii astia pentru iubitul tau!", "Cumpara trandafirul si bomboanele astea pentru prietena ta", "Cumpara bilete pentru week-endul de Valentine's Day spre orasul X"... si asa mai departe... Ce ma deranjeaza nu este anuntul in sine, ci faptul ca trebuie musai sa faci ceva pentru partener exact in ziua aia, ca asa este curentul din societate si nu neaparat pentru ca simti. Adica, daca esti intr-o relatie la inceput, nici nu stii cum sa interpretezi gestul barbatului: "oare ma iubeste cu adevarat sau doar se achita de o obligatie?". Eu propun (celor care sunt single) sa iesiti la intalniri abia dupa ce trece aceasta nebunie a zilei de Sf. Valentin. ;) Nu de alta, dar cred ca o sa va scuteasca de multe batai de cap, framantari si interpretari gresite care pot duce la multe lacrimi de dezamagire si la inimi zdrobite...
This time of year, I can't even connect to the Internet without seeing all kinds of ads that sound like this: "Buy this underwear for your man!", "Buy this rose and candy for your girl!", "Buy these tickets to city X..." and so on... What bothers me is not the ad in itself, but the fact that people expect you to buy these things at a certain moment of the year, just because of a trend and not because it is what you feel. So, if you are just starting a relationship, you are not even sure of the meaning of the gesture: "is he in love with me or he just feels obliged to do all this?". I suggest all the single ones out there to start dating only after Valentine's Day has past. :) This way, there will be no more disappointments, broken hearts or tears...

Serios acum, de ce trebuie sa existe o zi anume pentru ca dragostea pentru omul de langa tine sa se manifeste? Ar trebui ca fiecare zi impreuna sa fie ca Valentine's Day! Daca vrei ca relatia ta sa infloreasca si sa reziste frumos in timp, atunci poarta-te cu tandrete, grija si dragoste cu cel de langa tine permanent, natural! Un cadou (cum sunt chilotii sau bomboanele din exemplul de mai sus) nu trebuie facute doar fiindca trebuie. Cumpara-i sotului tau un tricou doar pentru ca ai fost in oras, cumpara-i sotiei tale o floare doar fiindca "atunci cand ai vazut acea floare te-ai gandit automat la ea fiindca sunt amandoua la fel de delicate". Nu te gandi ca "nu ai bani" si ca vrei sa faci economii, o floare nu saraceste pe nimeni; ba, mai mult de atat, te imbogatesti facand acest gest! Te imbogatesti prin dragostea crescuta pe care o va avea sotul/sotia pentru tine, prin legatura mai puternica si mai frumoasa dintre voi, prin harul si intelepciunea pe care ti le da Insusi Dumnezeu cand vede cat de lipsit de egoism esti! Gandeste-te ca te costa mai mult o saptamana cu fata umflata de plans, o zi de certuri, un an de sedinte la psihiatru sau un contract de divort!
Really now, why should there be just one day when people celebrate love? Every day should be Valentine's Day! If you really want your relationship to bloom and last, then be gentle and loving to the one next to you all the time, in a natural way! Gifts (like the underwear and candy from above) should not be a must! Buy your husband a T-shirt just because you went out, or buy your wife a flower just because "when you saw it you thought of her, as they are both so delicate". Do not think that you're short of money and that you want to put some money aside, no one got poor from buying a flower; on the contrary, it'll make you rich by doing this gesture! You will get rich in the love your partner will feel for you, in the strengthened relationship between the two of you, in the grace and blessings God Himself will send you for your selflessness! Just think how much more will cost you to cry for a weak, to have a full day of quarelling, a year of counselling or even a divorce!

Gandeste-te, daca vrei, ca la o investitie in familia voastra, in intarirea relatiei dintre voi! Daca ai avea o afacere, ti-ai petrece mare parte din timp facand planuri cum sa o promovezi, cum sa aduci produse noi, cum sa fii pe placul clientului etc. Si atunci, cand vine vorba despre cel mai important om din lume (sotul/sotia), cum de nu esti dispus cu atat mai mult sa investesti orice este nevoie ca sa intretii flacara dintre voi? Intereseaza-te mereu ce simte, ce-si doreste, ce viseaza, incurajeaza-l, ajuta-l, alina-i orice suferinta fizica sau sufleteasca! Fa-ti un obicei din a-ti saruta partenerul fie ca esti cu el de o luna, de 1 an sau de 10 ani de fiecare data cand iese sau intra pe usa!
Think of it, if you will, as an investment you make towards your family, towards your relationship! If you had a business, you would spend a lot of time and promoting it, bringing in new products, finding more ways to please your customers etc. Then why wouldn't you do the same for the most important person in your life: your partner?How come you are not willing to invest anything you have to in order to keep the flame burning? Always ask the how they feel, what they want, what they dream, encourage them, help them, sooth their every physical or emotional pains! Make it a rule to always kiss them when they enter or leave the house, whether you've been married for a month, for a year or for a decade!


Va provoc la un exercitiu: timp de 10 zile, purtati-va exemplar, cat puteti voi de bine si de frumos cu partenerul vostru! Indiferent ce ton va folosi el, voi concentrati-va pe ce aveti voi de facut: fiti blande, dragute, calde, vorbiti frumos, fiti ingrijite...fiti exact ca atunci cand incercati sa-l cuceriti! Aceea este persoana de care s-a indragostit si pe care a vrut-o alaturi! Orice s-ar intampla, nu cedati impulsului de a renunta la acest exercitiu nici macar pentru cateva ore! Apoi faceti o comparatie intre cum simtiti relatia dintre voi dupa acele 10 zile cu perioada de dinainte de a incepe acest exercitiu... Daca vreti sa ne dezvaluiti si noua, asteptam, suntem aici... ;) Va doresc o zi minunata!
I challenge you: for at least 10 days, try to be your best self to your partner! No matter the tone they will use, concentrate only on what you have to do: be calm, gentle, kind, warm, speak softly and lovingly, take care of yourselves...be exactly like you were when you were trying to conquer them! That is the person with whom they fell in love and with whom they wanted to live forever! Whatever happens, do not give up, not even for a few hours! Then compare renewed relationship to the one you had before this challenge...! If you want to share, we'll be right here, waiting... ;) Wishing you a wonderful day!


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